Over the past couple of days, I’ve introduced some terms to describe why we often struggle leading our students. First, I wrote about the Police Officer and the Personal Trainer. I suggested we often begin our work with young people as a Personal Trainer—focused on developing and building students to help them reach their potential, just like a trainer in a fitness club. Over time, however, we drift into a police officer role, looking for stuff to go wrong and hoping to keep students within the boundaries of our rules.

Then, I compared and contrasted another scenario. We are either a Navy SEAL or a Peace Keeper. These are two very different military roles. The Navy SEAL is on a mission, doing whatever he must do to achieve an outcome. He is there to win a war. Peace Keepers are also targeting an outcome, but theirs is simply damage control; making sure everyone is safe and alive. They are simply keeping the peace; hence the name. This is another drift we experience over time in working with youth.

Today, I want you to consider a third scenario. Are you a Travel Agent or a Tour Guide? You already know the difference don’t you? A Travel Agent’s job is to tell you about all the places you could go on a holiday; to show you brochures, describe the sights and sounds of vacation spots and even book the tickets. But—they don’t go with you. The Tour Guide, on the other hand, actually takes the journey with you. They walk with you through the jungle or the canyon or the park and along the way interpret what you see. The key? You do it together. Although the Tour Guide is clearly the leader, the experience is shared not virtual. Continue Reading

Yesterday, I blogged about the fact that our attitudes can decline, as leaders, over time. In other words, we frequently begin our work with young people in the right frame of mind, but eventually we grow weary and slip into a mindset that’s more punitive than redemptive. In fact, I contrasted two common perspectives in leaders today: Police Officers or Personal Trainers. Both inflict pain on the people they meet, but one is about punishing and the other is about developing. Far too often, we begin as “trainers” with students, and become correctional officers, more concerned with damage control than we are with preparing them for the future.

Today, I’d like to suggest another scenario we drift into, as leaders. It’s the Peace Keeper. This leader may begin with the right perspective, but in their attempt to connect with the young people they lead—they focus on staying close, on being hip and relevant, on remaining friends with the youth. They lose sight of the fact that while it’s important to be friendly, the leader’s job is to guide and provide a model for others to follow. It is not to be like them, or to be liked by them…it is to encourage the students to develop and mature in a healthy way.

Contrast a Peace Keeper in a foreign country with a Navy SEAL. Peace Keepers aren’t there to win a war. They’re present to simply keep the peace. They want to maintain civility and ensure everyone is living safely.  The Navy SEAL, however, has an entirely different mission. They are there to win a war; to resolve a conflict and achieve an outcome. Continue Reading