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Monday, May 17, 2010

A Superficial World

Below is word number four in my series of six words that describe the world in which our kids are growing up. I am hopeful we, adults, can lead them well, but there’ll be changes we must make to prepare them to enter the world of adults. Below is my latest entry. See what you think…

Their world is superficial.
Kids today have access to a lot of information, and they can get it at the touch of a finger. However, they are rarely encouraged — and often lack the interest — to delve deeply into a subject or go below the surface. They’re often fuzzy, not focused.

Our organization, “Growing Leaders,” teaches what we call Habitudes® to students. Habitudes® are images that form leadership habits and attitudes. One of them is: “Rivers and Floods.” For the most part, this generation is a flood, not a river, seeping out in every direction but not going far in any one direction. They are flooding, not flowing; just skimming the surface.

Their reading skills are low in fact; only half of the high school graduates met the benchmark for reading. In general, their study time is low as well. According to a U.S. Department of Education study, when asked how many hours they’d spent on homework the day before, about 40 percent of students said they had no homework or they didn’t do the homework that had been assigned.

According to WordSmart, Inc., the vocabulary of a middle school student has dropped measurably over the last sixty years. The average middle school student in 1950 possessed a vocabulary of twenty-five hundred words. Today, with more English words available than ever, they possess ten thousand words.

One author suggested today’s students are made of Teflon — nothing seems to stick. One of our focus groups unveiled that their attention spans are about the same as their age — sixteen-years-old, sixteen minutes. And when they’re bored, they quit. Nationwide, about 30 percent don’t even finish high school.

One college dean told me that a student asked if he could “try out” being a resident advisor in the dormitory. When the dean responded that the commitment was for one year, the student asked if he could try it for two weeks. This is the question that prompts adults to wonder: Are these kids going to change the world or just keep changing their mind?

This is a critical issue. What are your thoughts? What can be done?

Tim

In: Culture, Generation iY, Parenting

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Why Every Parent Needs to Know About BPA

I’ve been using a metaphor to describe what’s happening to kids today. It’s the story of Peter Pan and Neverland. Do you remember the story? Neverland was a place where kids refused to grow up. Our young people, however, may have a good excuse.

Since 2006, scientists have been discovering that many species of wildlife, from fish to mammals, are experiencing a hormone imbalance — they are being emasculated or feminized. In some species of fish, males are actually producing eggs instead of sperm. Researchers have learned that the leading cause of these disturbances is the presence of synthetic chemicals in their environment — and they’ve shown the same chemicals affect humans as well.

What are these chemicals? One popular one is Bisphenol A (BPA). It’s a controversial issue, but Canada and some European nations have banned it as harmful. Some refer to it as a “gender bender.” It’s found in chemicals from plastic bottles, baby bottles, canned food linings, and some shampoos. Under certain conditions, the chemical can migrate into food and water. It has been found in the bodies of over 90 percent of people. When ingested, it mimics natural estrogen, the female hormone, with disturbing effects on human development and behavior. As Dr. Sax reports, “Scientists have just begun to recognize the pernicious effects these chemicals have on the brain — particularly the brains of boys — in ways not previously imagined.”

For example, the soaring rates of ADHD among North American boys in the last twenty years may be linked to these chemicals. Nations like China and India, where bottled water is far less common, have a far lower incidence of ADHD. And childhood obesity, one our country’s most serious health problems, may be linked to endocrine disrupters as well. Dr Sax reports not only that “teenagers today (both girls and boys) are four times more likely to be obese and overweight compared to teens in the 1960s, and that environmental estrogens may contribute to this reality.

But the most disturbing effects of endocrine disruptors on young people have to do with sexual development — and they affect males and females differently. They are almost certainly a contributor in causing females to experience puberty earlier than they did thirty years ago. (In the 1970s, females went through puberty at thirteen or fourteen-years-old. Today, it’s nine to eleven.) These chemicals, however, seem to have the opposite effect on males.

According to Dr. Leonard Sax, “the overwhelming majority of modern chemicals that mimic the action of human sex hormones, curiously, mimic the action of only female hormones,” — which means they actually hinder sexual development in boys. Boys’ testosterone levels are half of what they were in their grandparents’ day. This may explain some of the gender confusion we see today, as well as the lack of motivation in young men. “In boys,” Dr. Sax explains, “testosterone fuels more than just sexual interest; it fuels the drive to achieve, to be the best, to compete. Successful, high-achieving boys have higher testosterone levels than boys who are content to come in last.”

What is most frightening is this: Scientists have discovered that exposure to environmental estrogens early in life tends to blunt or eliminates behavioral sex differences. Females become less feminine. Males become less masculine. Sexual identity becomes fuzzy and confused. And the resulting gender confusion helps explain why so many iY boys (and girls, too) seem confused about their identity. Minimally, the chemical imbalance seems to postpone their readiness for adult responsibility. Like Peter Pan, they opt for an extended stay in Neverland.

If you’re like me, you’re probably asking: What can I do? Here are a few suggestions:

1.    Check the labels of plastic bottles or plastic wrapped packages for BPA content.
2.    Talk this over with your child/student. Make them aware of what they consume.
3.    Help them discover their gifts, and develop a clear sense of purpose and identity.
4.    Provide appropriate responsibilities to help them mature into young adulthood.

Your thoughts?

Tim

In: Culture, Generation iY, Parenting

Monday, May 10, 2010

A Guaranteed World

I believe we’ll lead the next generation more effectively if we understand their world better. Below is blog post #3 on the six words I think summarize the world they live in today. Word number one was: Artificial. Word two was: Homogeneous. Word three is below. Let me know what you think, and what you believe we must do to lead them…

Their world is guaranteed.
Much of their time is spent in a protected, failure-proof environment in which they are never given the chance to lose. Many of today’s children and teens are never challenged to take a risk. Their entire lives have been full of safety devices, from safety seats to safety belts, and they have been discouraged from going anywhere alone. They also receive ribbons and trophies just for participating in activities; for many, they rarely have to earn anything.

Now, please understand. I am not advocating for parental neglect. Nor am I opposed to safety. I love my kids and want them to be safe. I care about the thousands of students I meet each year. But there’s a difference between common-sense measures and overprotection. Being perennially protected and provided for not only tends to foster a prolonged childhood; it also nurtures a sense of entitlement.

In a survey of corporate recruiters by the Wall Street Journal and Harris Interactive, students were told that there was an “E-word” that described them, then were asked to guess what that word was. The young people guessed a lot of words — excellent, entrepreneur, energetic, enterprising — but none of them guessed the right one: Entitled.

Where does this sense of entitlement come from? The National Institute on Media and the Family and the Minnesota PTA have even launched a statewide campaign encouraging parents and teachers to start saying “no” to young people more often. They are begging parents to read David Walsh’s book, No: Why Kids — of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. The campaign blames DDD (Discipline Deficit Disorder) for this generation’s inflated expectations and feelings of entitlement.

Hmmm. I realize this isn’t true for every adolescent, but far too often it’s true. What do you think?

Tim

In: Culture, Generation iY, Parenting

Monday, April 19, 2010

Leading the Next Generation Well: Over-Served

We are in the age of the “Wanted Child.” Sixty years ago, Dr. Benjamin Spock told parents to allow kids to express themselves and build a strong self-esteem. Today, we have taken this to an extreme. These kids most assuredly have developed a strong self-esteem. According to a nationwide high school survey, over 80% believe they are very important people. They feel entitled to special treatment as they enter the adult world. They know they are in the spotlight and all eyes are on them. I think Bill Strauss was right. He wrote, “Boomers started out as the objects of loosening child standards in an era of conformist adults. Millennials (a common term for this generation) have started out as the objects of tightening child standards in an era of nonconformist adults.”

As this generation absorbs the parental message that they dominate America’s agenda, they have come to believe that their problems are the nation’s problems. They feel very special. They have the “key” to the future in their hands. When asked which demographic group will most likely be the one to help America toward a “better future,” teens rank “young people” second only to “scientists.”

Where would they get this idea?
* From Mom and Dad who dote over them. Parents of the iY Generation need special orientation sessions to help them “let go” when they drop their kids off at college.
* From TV networks who’ve created entire channels just for kids like Disney, Cartoon Network, Disney XD, Nickelodeon, Boomerang, Discovery Kids, and The N.
* From retailers and marketing campaigns that create “Kids Aquafresh,” “Pert Plus for Kids,” “Dial for Kids,” and “Ozark (bottled) Water for Kids.”
* From nationwide programs sponsored by State and Federal governments, like “No Child Left Behind.”

Adults have chosen to focus on and serve this generation of young people more than any in recent history.

What has being “over-served” done to them? Let me get practical. I just turned off the radio in my car, after listening to a pop radio station. Three of the song titles I heard were:

1. “Because I’m Awesome!”
2. “The World Should Revolve Around Me”
3. “Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me?”

In a longitudinal study between 1975 and 2006, America saw a measurable climb in narcissistic tendencies in students (2 of 6 scored very high in this category) and a growing number actually have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to Dr. Jean Twenge of San Diego State University. The majority of them believe the world would be a better place if they were in charge. Twice as many students make straight “A’s” today compared to 1975. The slogan back then was: “I’m OK. You’re OK.” Today, it’s: “You’re OK. I’m Perfect.” We adults have done this. We want them to feel good about themselves. And they do. Loads of kids go to www.Celeb4aday.com to hire a fake paparazzi to follow them around and take photos of them.

Seth just quit his job. He couldn’t take it any more. This wasn’t abnormal. There are folks across the country who quit their jobs every day for the same reasons. What made Seth’s situation unique was — it was the fourth job he quit this month. Seth is seventeen-years-old and not yet used to working to make money. Up until this point, his parents gave him whatever money he needed each week. He spent an average of $87 per week through his junior year of high school. Life has been pretty easy for Seth. He attends a private, well-endowed prep school. He buys his clothes from Lucky Brand Jeans and Abercrombie and Fitch. He owns a Mac computer, an iPhone and an iPod. He’s your typical smart, good-looking teenager.

I know his parents. They are good people, but they are baffled at why their son just can’t hold down a job. I think I know why. Seth has never had to sustain a responsible position in his life. When he needed his clothes washed, Mom did it. When he needed his bed made — Mom was happy to step in. When he needed money, Dad had it for him. When he needed a car — Dad bought it. All of his needs were met by loving parents. But did they really demonstrate love for him? It depends on your definition for “love.” Seth’s parents have not prepared him for life because they have served him so well. Unfortunately, Seth is entering a world that doesn’t share his parents’ desire to meet his every need. Now, Seth is getting acquainted with that world, and he wants to quit.

What kind of adults will enter our world and lead our world if they have been raised in this manner? No one can tell for sure, but I have watched this scenario for years now. The teenagers are now twenty-somethings. They’re often impatient, demanding, self-centered, and short-tempered with a poor work ethic. Their desire to change the world is very real, but when it becomes difficult, they change their minds and move on to something else. The new term for them is: “Slacktivists.” They are both slackers and activists. Consequently, for most of them, their involvement is limited to buying a “Live Strong” wristband or signing a petition off of a website.

Your thoughts?

Tim

In: Culture, Generation iY, Parenting

Monday, April 12, 2010

Leading the Next Generation Well: Over-Protected

This young generation has grown up with safety seats, safety belts and safety policies on everything. They can’t ride a bike without a helmet, and they stay inside for most of their childhood, in front of a screen. I call them “screenagers.” As parents, we don’t want them out of our sight. We feel we are protecting our future by protecting them. In reality, we may be harming the future. Listen to some of the immediate results of their state, due to our parenting and education methods:

a. A large percentage struggle with obesity.
b. A large percentage experience near-sightedness.
c. A large percentage find it difficult to fulfill commitments.
d. A large percentage wrestle with depression, after 18-years-old.
e. A large percentage discover life is hard to cope with after leaving home.

This generation has been so sheltered by their parents, teachers, counselors, and government rules, many have trouble developing strong, independent coping skills. Authors, Neil Howe and William Strauss write, “Overly involved parents have become a real hassle for many educators. Youth obesity is on the rise as kids spend more time in sedentary activities and less time playing independently outdoors.”

So what does this look like in a real-life kid? I’ve known Kelli since she was in middle school. She recently graduated from college. Her story is a picture of over-protection. While none of the turns in her life were bad, together they produced a young adult who is unready for life in the real world. As an elementary school kid, her mother pulled her from public school and chose to home school her. I certainly understand that. (My wife and I chose to home school our teenage son so he’d have some options in his day as he prepared for his career.) However, as Kelli grew, her mom tightened the reigns. Kelli was not permitted to go on a trip with friends in middle school to Florida (just one state south of where she lived), because of too many variables her mother couldn’t control. In high school, Kelli wanted to go on a one-week mission trip overseas with her church youth group to serve in a developing nation. She was not allowed to go. It seemed unsafe. As a collegian, her only options for school were universities two hours or less away from home. Now, as a graduate, her mother has seen the value of cutting the apron strings, but alas, she’s a day late and a dollar short. Kelli took a job four states away from home, and was unable to perform. She called her mom several times a day, crying, because she was homesick. This didn’t sit well with her supervisor. Later, when Kelli broke up with her boyfriend, she was devastated. Her employer insisted she make sales calls instead of texting her boyfriend through the day. It eventually became more than she could handle. Kelli quit her job at 22 and moved home.

Let’s face it. This happens millions of times over each year. As I stated earlier, America has become obsessed with safety and security. While this is an indication of our love for these precious kids — what kind of adults will our preoccupation with safety and protection produce? America was built on risk. Opportunity. Free enterprise. Failure and determination. Manifest Destiny. Will these ideas be found only in our history books?

Your thoughts?

Tim

In: Generation iY, Parenting

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