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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Tollbooths and Roadblocks

No one likes embarrassing moments…but everyone of us has them.

I’ve had my share of embarrassing moments. One of them took place a few years back when I entered a tollbooth on a freeway without any money. Ugh. I just wanted to make progress and that silly booth stopped me. On one occasion, the tollbooth became a roadblock. It didn’t have what it took to pass through. I had to borrow the money from the guy behind me. What a humiliating moment for me.

For many students, this is a picture of life. They can’t seem to progress through adolescence. They can’t or won’t pay the price to grow up. The tollbooth becomes a roadblock. I know I have mentioned this before, but I am picking up new evidence that his is a worldwide phenomenon. Listen to the proof:

– In one survey, students themselves indicated the mark of adult responsibility and the exit from adolescence is: having my first child. Americans aren’t doing this until 27.5 years old.

– Originally, adolescence spanned from 12-18. In 2002, the National Academy of Science redefined this season as the period extending from puberty at approximately 12 to age 30.

– The MacArthur Foundation has extended it further, funding a major research project that argued the transition into adulthood doesn’t occur until 34 years old.

– The phenomenon is worse internationally. Kids stay home until their 30s and are called KIPPERS, Boomerang Kids, Freeters and Nesthockers. They don’t want to leave mom.

The Postponed Generation
Here is the problem. The term adolescence was created and published just over a century ago, by psychologist G. Stanley Hall. The word is taken from the Latin “adolescere” meaning: “to grow up.” It was meant to be a “doorway” from childhood into adulthood.

Today, it’s become a period of exploration and experimentation, trying to find one’s identity. This is very normal and natural, but there’s a difference between doing it at 16 and doing it at 32.

There is a new demographic group that’s expanded worldwide. The years between eighteen and twenty-five have become a distinct life stage—a strange, transitional “no man’s land” between adolescence and adulthood in which young people stall for a few extra years, putting off adult responsibility. Most of these are not bad kids or troubled kids or even stupid kids. They just don’t see the need to grow up because life is working for them just fine right now. They seem to enjoy a season of exploration without the demands of paying bills, or providing for someone else.

In my next blog post, I plan to share nine reasons why I think this is happening. But for now, I want to hear from you. What do you think is the cause of the postponed entrance into adulthood?

Tim

In: Generation iY, Growth

Monday, July 5, 2010

Drawing Commitments From Gen Y

I have a friend whose son made the varsity basketball team his freshman year of high school. He worked hard to make the team, so we were all proud of him. Because he was a first year student, however, he didn’t get a lot of playing time, and approached his dad with an idea. “Dad, I’m sitting on the bench most of the time. I think I’m going to quit the team and do something else. The varsity team isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”

My friend’s response was amazing. He sat down with his son and replied, “I know you’d hoped to get lots of playing time this year, and I am sorry you’re watching most games from the bench. It’s tough when you’d rather be having fun on the court. But, son, I can’t let you quit the team. Several other boys wanted the spot you won, and I am not going to let you flake now just because it isn’t fun. You made a commitment to be on this team and I want you to keep it to the end of the season. Next year, if you don’t want to risk sitting on the bench, it’s OK. Don’t try out.”

These words, spoken with grace are exactly what students need to hear today—especially if they are going to be leaders. Commitment comes with the territory. One psychologist said it this way: “The ability to keep a long term commitment is one true sign of maturity.”

If you’re like me, you’ve moaned under your breath: where is the long-term commitment in this generation of kids? Why do so many seem like they’re ADHD? Their attentions spans last two minutes! The sad truth was summed up by a friend of mine who works at a college. “These kids talk about changing the world—but they won’t stay committed long enough to even change their campus.” One dean asked, “Will students change the world or change their minds instead?”

This is the paradox of being part of the Millennial generation. Students have a strong belief that they can transform society, but find it difficult to stick to an idea once the novelty of that idea wears off. It is easier to return to the comfort of their iPods and cell phones. According to The Weekly Reader’s Insider’s Survey, half of students (ages 6-18 years old) believe one kid can change the world. Unfortunately, only 31% are actually doing any volunteer work that aligns with that belief. In other words, their optimism doesn’t always equal action.

Let’s face it. We should have predicted this. Many of them grew up being affirmed for every step they took, winning trophies, ribbons, prizes and pats on the back for anything—even finishing in 9^th place. Parents clapped for everything. Few learned anything about perseverance. If a child failed, parents often swept them away before it could hurt their self-esteem. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. As an adult, work isn’t always that rewarding. Projects can be hard and slow. And when colleagues don’t continue to affirm a commitment, it’s difficult to sustain that commitment.

Over the next few blog posts, I plan to launch a conversation about this issue. If adults don’t figure out how to cultivate long term commitment in the next generation, we may begin to see:

Five year marriage contracts
Careers built completely on temporary, contractual work
An inability to think long and hard on issues that lose their novelty.

Talk to me. Am I concerned about something I shouldn’t be? Is it no big deal if we breed a generation that is unable to maintain long term commitments? Am I just too old-fashioned?

Tim

In: Culture, Generation Y, Growth

Monday, January 11, 2010

Favorite Books of 2009

Every year in January, I post a list of the top ten books I read the previous year. This year, I will add the books I plan to read in 2010. Some I read for my own personal growth, some I read because I am a student of leadership. Some are faith-based, others cross over to all audiences. They make up an eclectic list. Enjoy…

1. Summoned to Lead, by Len Sweet
This was a fun read because it was a fresh POV on leadership. Leonard Sweet doesn’t claim to be a leadership guru, but he basically says that leaders are not positioned; they are summoned to lead by the circumstances in which they find themselves.

2. Free, by Chris Anderson
This book was one I didn’t plan to read—but I had to read. Anderson’s big idea is that the market for products delivered online is changing. Folks expect stuff to be free. Companies will need to come up with new ideas to generate revenue in this new economy.

3. Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell
I love Malcolm Gladwell. He always makes me think. This book examines why some people stand out from among their peers. How do people become successful, and why are some positioned to excel while others struggle? Get ready to reflect and apply this stuff.

4. Drive, by Daniel Pink
I just picked this one up at the end of 2009. It’s book number two I’ve read by Daniel Pink, after A Whole New Mind. The book studies what motivates people from the inside to pursue a goal or choose a route that others might not. Pink helps you think about how you think.

5. Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott
I had this book recommended to me by several people. I immediately applied it to the hard conversations or discussions a leader must have with team members about subjects no one likes to talk about. It’s applied confrontation. Doing “truth telling” in a healthy way.

6. John Newton, by Jonathan Aitken
My friend, Steve Moore, gave me this book—and I’m so glad he did. John Newton, the famous slave trader turned spiritual leader, had a remarkable life; most of it is unknown today. The book opened my eyes to the personal side of the author of Amazing Grace.

7. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller
This is Donald Miller’s latest installment. At first the book seems like a self-preoccupied autobiographical sketch of his life. Along the way, Miller introduces you to characters and lessons learned… and becomes a heart-warming treatment of what matters most in life.

8. The Soul of a Citizen, by Paul Rogat Loeb
This book is a bit more academic in nature, but was loaded with illustrations of ordinary people who became engaged in their community or their world and changed it in the process. Loeb pushes us to initiate, to risk and to not be afraid to act in light of justice.

9. Strengths Based Leadership, by Tom Rath and Barrie Conchie
This book lived up to my expectations. It is Gallup’s latest installment on the strengths movement, dealing with the fact that our best leadership will naturally be exercised when applied in the area of our strengths. It’s loaded with great case studies.

10. Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs, by Carmine Gallo
This book was recommended by my friend and colleague, Holly Moore. The book uses Steve Jobs speeches as illustrations of how to make amazing presentations, especially when your goal is to introduce a new idea or sell a new vision. Good, practical stuff.

2010 Books
This year, while I’m sure I’ll read a bunch of others, these are the books I plan to read…

Integrity, by Henry Cloud
Axiom, by Bill Hybels
What the Dog Saw, by Malcolm Gladwell
The Leader in Me, Stephen Covey (Re-read)
Waking the Dead, by John Eldridge (Re-read)
Ready or Not, Here Life Comes, by Mel Levine
This Beautiful Mess, Rick McKinley and Donald Miller
The 360 Degree Leader, by John C. Maxwell (Re-read)
Love is a Killer App, by Tim Sanders
In Charge, by Myles Munroe

Here’s to continued personal growth and leadership development for you and me.

Looking for a Plan?

By the way—if you’re looking for a plan for personal growth, check out a brand-new resource we are offering at Growing Leaders. It is called: “Leadership 2 Go.” It includes a monthly video, personal growth forms, reading assignments, a discussion board, articles, assessments, and more.

Just visit: www.Leadership2Go.com

Tim
www.GrowingLeaders.com

In: book recommendations, Growth, Leadership

Monday, June 29, 2009

It Was My Pleasure….

Have you ever been a part of a project that required intense focus and labor, but afterward you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world?

Last Thursday and Friday, our organization, Growing Leaders, hosted our 2009 National Leadership Forum. I would describe it with the words above. Our theme was: “Niche: Equipping Students to Find Their Place in the World.” We hosted over 150 school administrators, faculty, campus staff, and youth workers from across the nation in Atlanta, and heard from authors like Dr. Neil Howe (Millennials Rising), Mark Bauerlein (The Dumbest Generation), Steve Moore (The Dream Cycle), Tim Tassopoulos (Putting Your Strengths to Work), Jerry Pattengale (The Purpose Guided Student) and others.

Here are some of the highlights from the Forum…

* Neil Howe suggested we work with the Helicopter Parents and the Idealistic Students

instead of becoming frustrated with them. Don’t try to change them–work with them.

* Mark Bauerlein suggested schools aren’t preparing students for the real world, so we

must build a bridge for them via trust. Faculty must invite students into a relationship.

* Jerry Pattengale suggested students use the Wedge Principle and narrow their field of

interest. They often must become dissatisfied before they can find satisfaction in a major.

* Steve Moore told us our growth is tied to relationships, events, books and experiences.

The more we can capitalize and be intentional about tying them to our dream the better.

* Tim Tassopoulos reminded us our greatest potential for growth and for finding our niche

is in our natural area of strength. When we find that, discovering our niche will follow.

Some good news. Several attendees said they would love to get the “Niche Package” at the Forum but could not because their budget year begins July 1st. The package included:

1. DVD Kit entitled: “The Life You Were Meant to Live”

2. The Workbook, “A Life of Influence”

If you would like the special price we offered at the Forum for this package, we will extend the offer during the month of July only. It is a $72 retail price. Our special price is $40.

Or, you can get a Teacher Package: The “Life You Were Meant to Live” DVD and ten (10) books (A Life of Influence). The retail price is $135. Our special price is $100.

Whether or not you attended, we are offering this special for the month of July. Just call Gabe: (678) 367-4189. It’s your call.

May you help the young leaders around you find their “niche.”

Tim

In: Growth, Leadership, Mission, Niche, Purpose, Students